part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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