Where is the hickey?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
