I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
