Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
