Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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