I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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