her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
