I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
