we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
