i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
