well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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