I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
