Nicole vs. Life
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
