I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
babies were throwing up all over the place
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
