so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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