I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
