I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
