Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
