The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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