just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
