her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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