BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
