i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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