found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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