I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
