Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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