Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
