don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
