Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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