yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
