Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
