My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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