NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
