I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
