It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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