After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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