i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
