god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
