i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
