I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
wow bdsm is so cute
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
