Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
How's work?
Spinning.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
