I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
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