Already got asked if we're dating
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
