the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
