why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
