We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
