clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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