D3 body, D1 cock
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
