I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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