You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
